Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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