Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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