I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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