seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
