I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
