I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
And the cops told us we were all naked.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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