i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just got carded by a ten year old.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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