I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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