i would punch a child for taco bell
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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