I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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