I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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