Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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