This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
