this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
