there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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