He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
My Sexting was not on an AP level
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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