Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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