if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
