All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
you would pick up someone in the library
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
