shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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