she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
