Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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