After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
