Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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