I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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