what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just pee around me
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
