I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
