champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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