Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Randomize
