Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
