I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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