She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
