Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
