I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
