I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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