After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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