Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
