VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
