3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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