you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
