he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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