my mouth tastes like poor choices
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
