Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
