Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
