Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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