ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
