He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
