So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
