Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
