Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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